It’s Crockett Science

While WhittneyLynn is asleep and I can get away with it, I thought I should let her readers know something she probably won’t come right out and say. Probably one more item she’ll add to her list of “Things I Can’t Stand.”

Saturday morning, I was quietly clipping my toenails when Whittney decided to get involved.

“You’re not doing it right” she quipped.

“I’ve been doing it this way for over 20 years and never had any major disasters,” I said.

“Well you’re still not doing it right, and that’s why you’re always scratching me with your toes.”

I’ll admit she’s got a better handle on this cosmetic-type stuff than I do, and i was definitely interested to see how may different ways there could be to use a pair of toenail clippers, so I handed them over to let her show me the “right way.”

Apparently the proper procedure dictates prying the nail apart from the toe and jamming the clippers as near as you can get up to the bones in your toes. Not entirely comfortable, but it seemed effective.

She went from one toe to the next, correctly clipping, and looking rather satisfied at her work when suddenly her face lost all expression. Without looking up, for a split-second, she stared straight forward and then blew a chunk of toenail out her mouth and across the room.

Honestly, I’ve never seen anything in my life as funny as the expression (or complete lack thereof) on her face as a piece of my toenail shot into her mouth and immediately spat back out and ricocheted off the wall. Reading about it doesn’t do the story nearly the justice it deserves, but I thought it was important to get it out there. It made my weekend.

Thanks Whittney. And please be sure to brush your teeth.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 6th, 2008 at 9:51 pm and is filed under Randomness, WhittneyLynn. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.